That’s what I told myself when Apple announced the Macbook Pro refresh today at the Worldwide Developers Conference. I knew it was going to be a beast. Heck last year’s model was a monster and my first gen i7 still handles rendering tasks with relative ease. To read and see the new Macbook Pros as a total package just made me scramble seeing what goodies I could sell to justify the upgrade price. Your computer may not suck but the one I’m staring at does.

Here’s the rundown of key features for the 2012 Macbook Pro. It’s slim. Jobs demoed the iPod by saying it fits in your pocket. The Macbook Air was pulled out of a manilla envelope to show off it’s thin figure. The new Macbook Pro’s are said to be no bigger than a finger nail. It’s not tapered like the Air, most likely to house some surprising internals and a battery that lasts 7.5 hours with 30 day standby time (if you get one with an SSD). The Apple Store first asks you if you want standard or Retina displays with $400 separating the 15″ entry level versions of each The 13″ Macbook Pro doesn’t seem to have the Retina display option which comes in at a resolution of 2880 x 1800 or 220dpi or more pixels than that big HDTV you have in your living room.

Out with the old and in with the new. Old being optical drive and ethernet. New being the intriguing inclusion of HDMI, USB 3.0 AND two thunderbolt ports. 8gb of ram and 256 gb SSD hard rive come standard on the $2,199 base model Retina Macbook Pro. There is also a new cooling system which sucks air through three slim vents and and channels them into a non-symetrical fan that produces undulating frequencies almost imperceptible to the human ear. The new heat efficient (and unbelievably powered) Ivy Bridge quad core i7 cpu combined with this new form of heat dissipation should alleviate any heat issues with previous MacBooks. It’s also good to see nVidia and Intel reuniting on the Apple notebook with the 1GB GeForce GT 650M.

It looks like Apple had a pretty good day today and Siri did a nice job kicking the event off.