I can get used to this whole relaxing at the Stanford Shopping Center thing. The outdoorsy mall is ridiculously green and it’s people watching paradise. There are happy families snapping pics, beautiful women in summer dresses and the Apple Store. There’s a freakin tiny bird moving at no more than five frames a second eating a dried leaf next to me….what’s the nutritional value in leaf jerky? Dumb bird.

It’s the perfect time for me to examine what role the seven deadly sins play in my life. Past and present. Here and now. Let’s go for it.

Gluttony – My weight fluctuates as fast as a yoyo traveling up and down the spindle. When I’m cutting weight, I’m healthy, eating the right amount at the right times. When trending up on weight, I’m guilty of both nimis (eating too much) and ardenter (eating too fast).

Lust – If your beautiful and we meet, I’m sorry because the words you speak do not have my full attention. There’s no countermand to the noise that wonders if you find me attractive too. What would it feel like if the tips of your fingers were to wrap around my hand should I choose to reach for them. Would that kinetic contact act as a vessel that brings me to a world not here? I want to listen to your words, but they ground me here on Earth with all its finiteness. That the….bleh.

Wrath – True the abusive childhood may play a substantial role in the way I behave. Ultimately, I do have options, even if it means staying away from people. At work I unleash an unpleasantness so unpredictable that it frightens me to walk through the doors.

Sloth – Am I lazy? I work everyday, probably not as much as I should or can. I do absolutely nothing on Saturday without the slightest urge to see any of my friends. I take frequent cat naps throughout the day. I say it’s a wash but it is tied to the next one.

Acedia – Depression. Bleh. I tried the Wellbutrin thing. I don’t know if it helped. I was on it for a year and didn’t refill my prescription. After 2 months I see no adverse affects.

Now I question the sin two above this one. What has helped is step work with my sponsor. If your not an alcoholic I suggest you pretend your one and get to a meeting. I’m joking. No I’m not. Confused? Good, lets move on to…

Greed – Like lust or gluttony I am victim to this sin of excess. I want more money, to buy more things, to get more attention, to be the recipient of someone’s lust, to get more happy because of Acedia. I’m just too much of a sloth to get there.

Pride – If this is the source and origin of these deadly sins, then I must have it right?

Envy – If you are not a bearer of any of these sins, then I do truly envy you. Green like this freakin mall. Also, if you have the newest quad-core macbook pro. Then, yes, envy…..you bastard.

All right, perfect score for me. 8 for 8 in the sins department! I hope I do half as well on the virtues test. Well the appeal of my surrounding’s wearing off and the beautiful people are becoming scarce. I’m riding off back home on my hand built 15 pound Giant Road bike. It’s almost as light as the MacBook Air I’m typing on…..what?….there’s another one?….vainglory?……what’s tha……oh, ok makes sense.